I just finished the book
Silence, by Shusaku Endo. It is about the persecution of Christians in Japan in the 1600's. The main character is a priest who is determined to die for his faith if that is what it takes. Throughout the book, he is willing to face persecution, but he refuses to aposticize - to trample on the picture of Christ, however, he is also distressed that God remains silent while all this persecution is happening. Near the end, he was told that if he did not aposticize, other Christians would be tortured to death. And as he prays that God will speak, that he will not remain silent any longer, the picture of the Christ that he is asked to trample on speaks to him:
"The priest raises his foot. In it he feels a dull, heavy pain. This is no mere formality. He will now trample on what he has considered the most beautiful thing in his life, on what he has believed most pure, on what is filled with the ideals and the dreams of man. How his foot aches! And then the Christ in bronze speaks to the priest: 'Trample! Trample! I more than anyone know of the pain in your foot. Trample! It was to be trampled on by men that I was born into this world. It was to share men's pain that I carried my cross.'"There are many thoughts bouncing around in my head about all of this. Some of the stuff in the book seemed very profound, and I wish I had someone to discuss it with who had also read the book. It is making me wonder about the difference between what we believe with our hearts and what we confess with our mouths. It is making me think about which aspects of faith are universal, and which are cultural. It is bringing to mind our house church topic of the year so far: "So what is it that make this Good News so good?"
I think I'm getting better at pondering some of these things without needing to come to a concise answer. And I think that's ok, but not a prime situation for good blog posts.