The Groaning Goes On

I think one of the reasons that I haven't been feeling much like blogging lately is that I have had a couple of partially formed thoughts bouncing around in my head for a long time, but they weren't at a stage where I felt like writing about them, and there was nothing else that seemed worth writing about.  Hence, I wrote about nothing.  I still haven't finished thinking about these things, but perhaps I have reached the point where I can at least express some thoughts.  I suppose the answer to that is a yes if this actually gets posted.  

So I watched a really great chick flick tonight.  I think the thing that I love about chick flicks (and really most movies) is the happy ending.  There may have been moments in the middle where you weren't quite sure if things was going to end well, but somehow at the end of the day, all is well... and they lived happily ever after.  Happily ever after.  I think that is quite a thought.  I think that is what I search for.  Not necessarily in the form of the perfect man (though I wouldn't complain if I found him), but in everything.  Happily ever after implies rest.  The thing you have been seeking has been found, and now you can sit back, relax, enjoy life, and never have to be uneasy or anxious again.  A deep breath released, and tension is gone from your life forever.  Rest.

But the thing is, no matter where I've been or what the circumstances, I have never experienced a rest that complete.  I've never gotten to a "happily ever after."  That's because life continues on, and this life is not actually about finding rest.  Don't get me wrong, I believe that I will yet experience perfect rest.  Just not on this side of heaven.  

There are times when I thought I knew what it was that I wanted.  I worked hard to get it, succeeded, and basked in my happiness... for about 5 minutes, until I noticed that I still wanted something.  The hole wasn't filled.  I couldn't find rest.  That feeling is hard to express in words.  Groans really say it best.  All of my yearnings and wants and deepest hopes and frustrations can be encompassed in a groan.  It goes even deeper than what I can consciously identify.  The bible talks about this groan in Romans 8.  All of creation is groaning "as in the pains of childbirth" (v 22).  And what are we groaning for?  "The redemption of our bodies" and "our adoption as sons" (v 23).  That's the happily ever after right there.  But the thing is, it isn't going to happen until we have a perfect relationship with our Creator, and as long as we are stuck on this broken earth in these broken bodies, we are going to be bound to decay.  Groaning.  

But here is something that I am learning.  In the moments when all my frustrations and unrest culminate in a dissatisfied groan, I have a choice.  I can decide if I am going to groan in frustration or in hope.  If I groan in frustration, life gets... well, frustrating.  But the thing is, although I know that the hole in me is not going to be filled in this lifetime, I do know that it is going to be filled.  And when I shift my thoughts from all the things that aren't filling me, and rather think about the One that I know will fill me one day, my groans take on a peaceful tone.  Not perfect rest, to be sure, but peace.  And so my groans will go on, but I groan in hope.  And in Him I find peace to get me through to the day when he will bring me perfect rest.  

Convenience is Bliss

I have to have another cell phone rant. I know that if you have ever bothered to ask me my list of pet peeves, you probably already know that this is near the top of the list, and I also know that if you have never bothered to ask me what my list of pet peeves entails, it is probably because you don't really want to know. I don't really blame you. Rants tend to be a little one-sided. Though that is sort of the nature of a blog in the first place. And if you read this blog ever, I have to assume that must imply that you at least like me a little bit, and if you like me at all, you must either enjoy rants or you have learned how to endure them/tune them out. Tuning out blog rants is especially easy, since I am not there to have hurt feelings about you reading a book or falling asleep while I am talking about something I think is important. So without further ado...

Cell phones make me mad. I understand that they are very useful. I will even go so far as to say that there have been moments in my life when I have wished for a brief moment that I had one so that I could work out some kinks in Friday night plans etc. But I deal with those moments of inconvenience. Part of it, I will freely admit, is that I am being stubborn. That is indeed one of my character traits, and I know that is something I need to work on sometimes, but I like that I am stubborn about this, so I don't expect it to change that soon. Cell phones very easily take over people's lives. We all have seen about a billion examples of people who can't go anywhere without checking their phones for texts, calling their boyfriends every 12 minutes, disrupting conversations with good friends to take a call, texting in class (I can tell you, very distracting)... I could go on and on. Okay, so I have established that some people take the cell phone a little too far (understatement of the year). To be fair, let's now consider the advantages of cell phones. You can call for help if you have trouble on the road, you can call your friend to find out where they are when you have been waiting at the designated spot for 25 minutes alone, you can keep yourself busy when you are bored in class. I think the main positive thing cell phones do is make things more convenient. Personally, I think that convenience is not necessarily the end we should always be seeking. Sure, it is nice for things to be convenient. But it is also nice when things increase our organizational skills, and when things build relationship and community. So it comes down to a question of whether the convenience is worth the cost.

I know that some people who have a cell phone and don't let it get out of hand (no pun intended), and perhaps that is the best (and hardest) place to be. It is easy for me to not get addicted to my cell phone because it is non-existent. What is hard is to have one and not let it take over. I think that's how lots of things in life are. It is easiest to push hard to one side on an issue, because then we never need to practice balance. But I think the gray area is often the best place to be, and that is hard, because it takes constant reassessment and effort. That sounds a little inconvenient.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I will, however, post a link to a pretty funny/good article on this topic. Click on the "family" link on the left and scroll down to "Don't Mind the Mess."

Camera Obscura = amazing.